Sunday Night

Do you know the feeling..? It gets to about 19:00 Sunday evening and you get that pit of your stomach, hollow inside dread of going to bed and sleeping. Not because you’re going to have to pack away what you’re doing, turn off the interesting TV series/film, or abandon your game at a crucial point. Not even because of ghosts, monsters or nightmares! But because tomorrow is Monday and that means it’s work.

By some kind of witchcraft, time starts to speed up! You’re hurtling toward bedtime on a runaway train, the breaks are shot and you can see the end of the line fast approaching. Once you’re in bed you procrastinate on your phone or reading a book as long as you can hold out before sleep takes you.

That’s literally the point I’m at writing the first part of this blog post!

If you don’t get the Sunday night dread I can only conclude you’re a student or don’t work for whatever reason, you don’t work a Monday to Friday office job, or you’re one of those lucky people who has a vocation and loves what they do.

Image of a shadow monster trying to scare the word 'Dread'. Dread is spelled vertically and spells out the words Don't Resist! Embrace and Destroy!
The Sunday Night Dread Monster, or one interpretation of it! But is there a way to work with it or around it?

Strangely enough, I didn’t use to get the Sunday night dread when I worked in retail. I think that’s because I worked most days, and usually Mondays – but even then I didn’t get the dread of going back in after a few days off. I think it’s just an irrational thing born out of me not loving what I do, and not being wholly fulfilled or happy with work. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate my job, but does it satisfy and enrich me, well no, not anymore. Over time the Sunday night nagging feeling of ‘eugh Monday again’ has transformed and developed into an entity in its own right.

Monday Morning

I, of course, am absolutely fine getting up and working – I would have said going to work, but that’s a bit of a stretch as I’m mostly working from home! I also completely appreciate how irrational the dread is and it does nothing but taint my last few hours of weekend freedom! Any Sunday night dread dissipates overnight once I finally convince myself to stop time-wasting and start attempting to sleep.

A wise ex-colleague used to say “if you don’t like something, change it”. Now, for a person with fibromyalgia and CFS that’s easier said than done (been there, done that, paid the price and upset my body many times!). But, I’m going to steadily embrace the dread and use it for good. The dread monster will be destroyed as I work towards doing something more fulfilling and personally satisfying to pay the bills. Could this be in my current role? I doubt it, there’s no room for progression and I think my love for it has gotten lost along the way. The challenge is going to be finding something I can develop and do, while working in my current role and not letting that or my health slip. I might not be fulfilled by my current job, but I do take pride in my work and have people relying on me to support them as part of my role. Add to that the bills won’t pay themselves – the new ‘thing’ (no idea what yet!) will be in my downtime. I’m hoping the things that have to give to make time for it are housework and ‘adulting’ (wouldn’t that be nice!). I think it’s more likely to end up being resting and hobby time that gives. I owe it to myself to invest in me though and to make the Sunday Night Dread a thing of the past.

Do you get the Sunday Night Dread, is it just me? Did you used to but have slain the monster? All hints, tips and comradery appreciated!